Let’s Take a Test …

Pronounce the last name of Luis Gil.

Exactly what I thought: 35% say “Gill,” 33% say “Heel,” and 32% say, “Never Heard of Him.”

The point is, the Yankees rookie had a nice season with 15 wins, a 3.50 ERA, and 171 strikeouts … and made absolutely zero impact on the national baseball scene.

Sure, 15 wins is pretty good for a rookie—well, one not backed by about $300 million in offensive and defensive talent, anyway.

Meanwhile, 3,000 miles away, the A’s had a rookie pitcher who struck out 104 batters … in relief.

Thank goodness, because he was supported by eight guys called “Player to Be Named Later.” Oh, and a drummer whose beats echoed, making him at times sound like the Prideless of the West.

You read that right: Mason Miller faced 249 batters in 2024 and struck out nearly half of them. And that’s not counting the All-Star Game, where he stared down Shohei Ohtani and Trea Turner, sending them back to the bat rack and praying AL manager Bruce Bochy would give them a shot at someone more reasonable—like Gil—next time around.

Alas, Gil (pronounced Heel, by the way) wasn’t in Arlington that night. Riding a four-game losing streak and torched for 16 runs in 9 2/3 innings over three outings, he was relegated to watching on TV, hoping his next phone call wasn’t from someone named Wilkes Berry.

Miller, by the way, allowed just 18 earned runs all season.

Yet when it came time to select an American League Rookie of the Year, the same media that blew Aaron Judge’s chase of the all-time home run record out of proportion (he missed by literally almost a mile) demonstrated their love for pinstripes once again.

Embarrassing. Worse than their pre-Halloween disappearing act.

Miller did something no other player could possibly have done last season—he put a team on the map that literally was no longer on the map, with moving vans last seen halfway between Oakland and Sacramento.

Out of nowhere—he had been mostly a starter during a 2023 cameo—Miller morphed into Nolan Ryan, a guy you absolutely had to see warm up.

And then you absolutely didn’t want to see summoned from the bullpen to face your team.

Miller threw 510 pitches at least 100 mph last season. And that’s not counting warmups. Let’s round it up to a thousand.

Catchers knew what was coming. Even Sealy-level padding couldn’t prevent the pain.

Hitters knew what was coming, too. They just couldn’t see it.

Umpires had that problem as well.

The biggest difference between Miller and Gil last season was … well, basically every pitch.

Every time Gil turned around to look at the scoreboard, he saw Judge. Talk about a great life. He was supported by six or more runs 11 times. That’s where eight of his wins came from. (Don’t ask about the other three games.)

Meanwhile, everywhere Miller looked, he saw opposing fans on their feet, their heroes one swing away from hoisting a few across the street. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be pitching.

The 249 batters the Oakland closer faced last season? More than half (128) came to the plate in a tied or one-run game. Those guys hit .106 against him.

Gil faced 353 batters (about half his season total) in tied or one-run games. They hit .190 against him.

Not bad. But not Miller. Not even close.

Did I mention Miller pitched for the A’s? He saved 28 games for a homeless team projected to win about 27. Take him away, and they’d be the B’s.

He wasn’t perfect. In 65 appearances, he blew three saves.

Miller was so good, approximately 2,287 internet Ken Rosenthal wannabes had him traded to the Dodgers, Braves, Red Sox, or Mets during his brilliant season.

Heck, wishful Bronxsters had him going to the Yankees. Even the great Gil averaged barely five innings a start. He needed a lot of help and usually got it from a dependable bullpen.

When Miller needed help … it was often just taking off his water-soaked jersey after another walk-off relief success.

In the still-in-production Mason Miller Movie, two kids are walking with their dads toward Yankee Stadium, the marquee shouting out: Luis Gil vs. Does It Really Matter tonight.

Hicksville Harry: “Son, you excited to see your first big-league ballgame?”

Son Mickey: “Dad, you told me Gerrit Cole was pitching. Can we go home?”

Brooklyn Bruno: “How about you, son? I can still get 60 cents on the dollar for our tickets. These are the A’s, after all.”

Son Yogi: “Are you kidding, Dad? These are bleacher seats. We get to see Mason Miller warm up.”

Double-M was TM (The Man) in 2024. Luis Gil was AM (Among Men). Simple as that.

Miller was the AL Rookie of the Year without any question. In fact, he really should have been the league’s Reliever of the Year as well.

That went to the Guardians’ Emmanuel Clase.

Let’s take a test …